Hello NEW ZEALAND

Yes! as I've mention on my previous post, I'm going to New Zealand to future my studies and I'm in New Zealand now. It was a long trip from Malaysia to NZ. 16hrs (included transit in Melbourne,Australia). Lucky I flew here with Emirates, made this long 16hrs of pain bearable OMG!
Super comfy, MUSIC AND MOVIE keep you company in the entire trip! all latest updated movie and song. To cut things short, that's the best experience with travelling in airplane so far! (Sorry MAS =/)


New life? Yes indeed! Studies, new people, new culture, winter(for the 1st time in life!)  Things got kind of confusing at the 1st place due to my late arrival (3weeks behind ) But all good now. 3 more assignment left and IM FREEEEEE!

Summer holiday starts on 8th November till next year February 2015( super long break). But before I'm going back to Malaysia, I'm going to AUSTRALIA! Aussieeee! Melbourne. No special reason just don't feel like going back Malaysia to face my previous problems( try to avoid as long as i can) mean while I'm emotionally and mentally prepare for the outcome/result of the "problem" duh.

I'll try to blog as frequent as I can. Some other events post next time=) Some nice scenery photo for u guys!

 Spring NOW! SAKURA FLOWERS 

Study Plan

1st i would like to apologise on some of the post that i've promise to post but didn't? Currently I'm at my hometown, even there's internet access...it was toooo slow. I've actually blog about my HK trip. But due to the super slow line and huge photo size...it was unable to be post. So, i'll get back to that when i've a better internet access. =)

Now, back to the real topic. I guess those who read my blog will know that in one of the previous post I've state that I'm leaving to future my studies. Now everything has been confirm ( it's a very sudden plan in short amount of time). I'll be leaving Malaysia to New Zealand to continue my study for 1 & half year.   

People may ask why so sudden? Why choose New Zealand out of so many country.  To be HONEST, I actually didn't plan this whole thing from the beginning. I do admit that all along in my mind, I did thought of studying in overseas. BUT I never took it seriously ( to go overseas) maybe I'm not ready in sort of way or just wasting opportunity in my life. 

I guess everything you done in life has been planned by GOD or bound to sort of fate. After all the heart breaking moment where I've no idea where to go or do in my life, one day i went back to my college for my friend's final year exhibition. I've talked to a few of my lectures and one of my lectures, Mr. Jeremy Pinto (HUGE THANKS FOR MR.JEREMY FOR ALL THE HELP ) was the person who told me about studying in New Zealand.  Where's a few of the lectures and himself studied there. That moment was the time where I've decided to start new and finally I took the courage to move forward to explore, learn and leave behind the sad memories. Leaving to New Zealand would be also an opportunity to find myself, up grade my knowledge and value...until I could accept another person in my life...I need to be the one who accept myself, love myself more than anything else.

Sorry, for those emotional stuff I've wrote. hehe. Update HK trip real soon.
Once again thank you Mr. Jeremy Pinto, you have done more than just a lecture's responsibility . You're really a GREAT TEACHER AND AWESOME FRIEND. I really appreciate it =) thank you.

XOXO (GAY)

7 stage

Yeah, at the age of 22, my 1st heart break. 1st breakup after more then 1 year together (nearly 2) and ON&OFF after breakup for about 1 year. 3 years ain't easy, we been through GOOD and BAD times together and this time is the REAL breakup. It isn't easy to let go the person you love especially your 1st and all the memories. But I'm blessed to have great and true people in my life. My friend who support me at my down times, pull me up every time a fall, encourage me to step out. I maybe not completely OK, but it has been a long way of recovery...and I'm feeling better now.

I won't say all the details in this 3 years, what had happened or pointing fingers at each other blaming, because what is done can't be undone and no matter how many times we able to apologise or how regret we felt, all we can do... or at least I can do is to learn from it and move on. I've learned from my mistake, leave the past behind and hope for a better future.. This is a video a friend of mine shared to me, he said the story just like my situation, yeah it is...overall conclusion how this relationship goes from good, sweet moments to depressing  and the 7 stages after breakup that I've currently been through.

Jinnyboy & Night Owl Cinematic's 

Me, Myself and I

Hatyai & Kohlipe (Maldives of Thailand!)

YUP! as PROMISED, I'll upload the photos of my Thailand trip! Kohlipe &  Hatyai~

*cautions: this post may contain lots of #SELFIES!
Thanks JESSICA for the Awesome photos and lending me the camera for the pics!

LOOK AT THE WATER! OMGGGGGGGGG <3 p="">

Some POSING IN ACTION! 

Pretty Jessica 

Mother & Daughter MOMENTS

AWESOME VIEW! 

With MOM

How can YOU NOT TAKE A SELFIE

Some pose at the beach 

KOHLIPE

Market

Ring!Ring! SIAM AH, pretty girl coming through! 

   

At the BEACH SELFIES 

Dummy post #1

Dummy post #2

I LOVE YOU MUMMY!

Fooling around while waiting mom to change =P

10 Things you Should Not Give Up For A Relationship

Great article to be share with you guys =) It's a good advice to maintain a healthy relationship where it doesn't happen to me (I've experienced 6or 7 out of 10 things in the list) and we(with ex) had a very hard time in our relationship.  But I still wish everyone can be in a Happy Relationship.

1. Your self-esteem / confidence / self-beliefSome relationships bring out the best in us, others leave us feeling unworthy and unsure of ourselves. If you find you are full of self-doubt and are less confident than you were at the beginning of the relationship it might be time to analyze where this decrease has come from. A healthy relationship should provide a solid base from which to explore the world and achieve the best you possibly can. If your relationship is keeping you ‘small’ and diluting your strengths it’s a warning sign to take notice of.

2. Your independence – personal and financial
Being in a relationship can be a wonderful, loving experience. It’s always important to maintain your independence and resist morphing into one mutual identity. See your friends; enjoy interests that don’t always include your partner and keep a separate bank account for yourself. Independence is healthy and always helps you feel you are in the relationship because you want to be not because you need to be.

3. Your right to decide for yourself – freedom of choice
Never give up your opinions and freedom of choice to keep another person happy. Compromise is important and a win-win situation is the ideal outcome, but be wary of partners that try to control you. Whether it involves negative comments about the way you dress, the way you cook and/or clean the house or the friends you have – choose for yourself and do not be manipulated into doing things you don’t agree with in order to keep the peace.

4. Your right to be you
Protect your fundamental characteristics and personality traits and never give up the ‘essential you.’ We all change to a certain degree in relationships but be careful that you don’t try too hard and end up losing yourself in the process. Those who love you will adore the real you and all your imperfections. Constantly trying to change yourself will erode your confidence and self-esteem and it can be demoralising.

5. Your happiness
There are times when our fear of being lonely is bigger than our wish for genuine happiness. As a result we remain in relationships that don’t bring out the best in us. We stay in lack-luster relationships because we fear the unknown and ultimately do ourselves a huge disservice. You only have one life – try not to waste it in a relationship that makes you miserable. Give up a relationship that undermines your sense of happiness and fulfillment during a long-term basis. If you feel unappreciated and unhappy, ask yourself why and assess whether the relationship you are in has anything to do with your sadness.

6. Your dreams and goals
Never give up your dreams for the sake of a relationship. A relationship should be a spring board from which to chase your dreams rather than a place that keeps you chained and disillusioned. Jealous and/or insecure partners try to stifle a creative, passionate mind and keep their talented partner where they feel they can maintain control. If this sounds like your relationship, realize this is unhealthy. Happy relationships encourage adventure and help the people in it to move forward and progress rather than stagnate.

7. Existing relationships that are important to you
Good friends can be hard to find and if you have a few wonderful and loyal friends, never give them up for a relationship. Any partner that expects you to give up friendships for him or her is selfish and likely controlling. A healthy relationship allows friends and family to happily co-exist alongside it. See it as a warning sign if your partner tries to isolate you from your friends and family.

8. Your self-respect
In our pursuit of love we can sometimes cross self-respecting boundaries that we wouldn’t normally consider crossing. Whether it involves engaging in behaviors that you find demeaning or whether you allow yourself to be treated in a disrespectful way, this is another sign that the relationship is not good for you. Never give up your right to be treated with respect and decency. If someone crosses this line you should get rid of him or her right away. If you allow this treatment to continue it will become worse and you will end up despising yourself for allowing it.

9. Your identity – don’t morph into your partner too much and lose yourself in the process
When we immerse ourselves in a relationship, we tend to take on the interests and habits of our partners. There is nothing wrong with this process as ‘mirroring’ helps us to bond and feel more in tune. The problem comes in when we do not have a strong sense of self to begin with and we take on too many characteristics of our partner instead of developing our own identity. If we are too influenced by our partners we may stop making decisions for ourselves and veer off the path of true self-discovery.

10. Your decision-making power
Think of decision making as a muscle that weakens if you don’t use it often. The more we don’t defer in decisions from our partners the less likely we will be to make future decisions and think for ourselves. This doesn’t mean you have to make every decision alone but be aware of habits you may have of double checking with your partner before making a decision – especially if it is for something fairly inane, such as a small household purchase. Think for yourself and keep making decisions, no matter how small. This helps to maintain your sense of individuality as well as your ability to stand on your own two feet.

Relationships can be heaven but they can also be hell. Take regular health checks on your relationship and use the above pointers to guide you through the process of assessing how happy and healthy your relationship is.

*Note :This article is not written by me , It was taken from  http://higherperspective.com. I came a cross to this particular page of article and decided to share with you guys! You guys can go to their website and do some article reading( not just about relationship)

Thoughts

I was planning write feelings stuff..but my mind just too mess up. Mixed feelings.... i don't know how to get all out. All I can feel is the empty feeling and i miss him badly but nothing I can do about it =(  I don't know what more else can I do. I know everyone was keep telling me to let go.....it's not that i don't want to but just hard for me. I'm taking steps. However 3 years is not easy. We been through good and bad times,  I did learn from it even it takes me long time to realise and did bad decision but I REALLY WANT TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.  I don't know what should I do. They said good things come to those who waits. But waits in agony . Seeing the person you love with other, no matter how much you want them just not going to happen and how many sleepless nights and swollen eyes it happened . TIMES HEALS A BROKEN HEART BUT TIME WILL ALSO MAKE A WAITING HEART BROKEN.  Sorry for the depressing post. Need to get some out of my chest. NEED A SHOULDER =( A HUG....  Nights.

This wraps up all.......what can LOVE do?  

Sorry FOR?

There's a difference between

1." I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I'VE DONE THAT CAUSE YOU THE PAIN" 

2. " I'M SORRY FOR WHAT HAD HAPPEN"

1st sorry is that they realise what they had done is wrong and it has cause you the pain that you shouldn't or not deserved to go through. They have sense of remorse for the pain they cause others.

2nd sorry will be they are sorry for WHAT HAPPEN.SELFISH person that doesn't even had the slightest sense of remorse for their wrong doings that cause you the pain. AND STILL thinks that they are the righteous ones and it's your own fault you felt that way. Just to save their own ass.. they thinks its okey to do that to others. OR THEY ARE JUST SORRY FOR THEMSELVES that they are BUSTED. 

Recent ME

Lots of stuff happen to me recently, beside of bad stuff... here's the awesome ones!

I bought my baby boy MACBOOK PRO =D even it cost me 4months of salary savings =( never mind all is for the better cause =P  

Beside of that, I went few places locally and overseas( macam yes..THAILAND ONLY) 

Ipoh, Taiping, went hiking...yup! more active and outgoing =) compare the old me just stay at home sulking=( meh...  and THAILAND yes! I've been a big fan of BEACHES...where the sun shine bright, crystal clear water, soft and smooth sands ...OMG heaven for me! I went to KOHLIPEH a.k.a Maldives of Thailand ( they said ). Despite the HIGH EXPECTATION,  there's a little bitsy dissapointment when i reached there, not much different from Redang... BUT! when you go for snookering or scuba diving( at other island where the place we stay )  it does match up to its name for Maldives of Thailand! the water is just soooooo crystal clear. NO KIDDING.  Sadly I'm still getting use to my baby boy. Still finding a way to transfer all the photo from my phone (Samsung S3) to baby boy since bluetooth failed to do the job.... But i will post photos of it A.S.A.P after i get all the photo updated =) awesome trip overall with great fun for snookering for the 1st time and doing it deep sea! 

And I will be working till end of JUNE. Some people will be wondering what is my job... Be prepare to be not amuse by it! Im a TEACHER teaching teenage kids (secondary school) as  a computer teacher. Teaching them basic software, MICROSOFT and  ADOBE PHOTOSHOP & FLASH. 

And about how I end up to be a teacher.. long story short, just happen! LOL

Will be continue studying after that =) updates after i get all done or confirm! 

OH OH! and I've my hair cut SHORT,  yes...due to heart break, sad want to start a new life or show the new me thingy? nah... just too lazy to take care of it. Bad hair. too much time and money spend on it =P Welp photo of me with my new look! #SELFIES =) 

you guys may not get to see photo of me without photoshop! lucky for you guys who read my blog!

coz this is photo without photoshop but thick makeup! 

HELLO there! 2014!

Hello there! I know it has been damn freaking long time i didn't post anything up =/ just simply too lazy to do so.

Yeap, it's 2014! after tomorrow it's going to be MAY... time do passes fast. So, just a quick update on things from last post till now.... it has been a very bad ehh..how to say it.... moment? time? anything !from end of last year till now.. =(  but still there's some good ones =)

Moment of 2013 YOLO...
Yes, it was YOLO fun, excitement, meet new people, stuff...crazy parties. BUT somehow it has been a bad one, fun for all the wrong reasons. I can't say its totally bad..at the same time if it doesn't happen to me..i will never actually wakeup..never realise what is actually the things I want in life. The true meaning of FREEDOM. But at the same time I've known some great people =)


Lesson to be LEARNED
Since bad stuff had been happen. It's a lesson ( painful ones) to be learned. Learn to see things differently and realise all along I've manage my life and treat people around me in the wrong way.. No matter it's about FAMILY, FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCE and most importantly my LOVE.
All along I don't have the slightest idea on how to manage everything around me, I've issue with emotions (slight depression). I see things on my side and never see my self in their position. After all this painful experience I've been through (or as KARMA seriously SLAP ON MY FACE #OUCH), it actually changes or push me to be a better person..(mentally more positive, see life more better than it is and love, appreciate people around me).i would be damned if after all this I'm still the old me =) I'm STILL IN THE PROCESS OF LEARNING

THANKFUL & BLESSED
OK, I'll try not to blah all out..keep it short what's good =) I'm THANKFUL for the people who truly loves me and supported and pulls me up in the down moment of my life where all things seems to be dark and lost of hope. It is a very hard moment in my life... without them..i'll never recover this fast. Even I'm not running but at least I make the 1st step to move out from it. I'm blessed for all the people who gives their time, effort and care all along without expect any in return. It true hard time reveals TRUE FRIENDS! and FAMILY.. they are the ones who will be your side no matter what. I know in some family situations things just kinda "cold"  doesn't talk those. But trust me, no matter how your PARENTS really care for you even they didn't show it ( typical asians).

OVERALL
Way tooooooo MUCH of things happen that I'm unable to type all out! it would be like writing a novel LOL. So, I'll try to update my BLOG as much as I can? HOPEFULLY!
Thanks for reading =)